Mommy Breaks- House of Payne

How many of you watched the premier of Tyler Perry's House of Payne last night? In case you missed it one of the lead characters had twins and it addressed the issue of feeling overwhelmed after child birth, feeling alone and not getting help from the father and other family members. It also dealt with other signs and symptoms of postpartum depression. I thought it gave a inside look as to how mothers often feel after child birth and how those around the mother sometimes don't fully understand all of the physical and emotional aspects that are involved with this new bundle of joy.

I loved how in the end the rest oft the family was able to really see how overwhelming the whole process was and step in to help. This isn't always what happen,s as I am sure many of you know. I have had friends who were afraid to ask others for help after child birth because they didn't want to be viewed as weak. I personally can remember people saying how easy it all looked and that I should hurry up and have another (people still say this).

I put together a list of sites that can help with postpartum depression symptoms and places where help can be sought (cut and paste into you browser). What were your experiences? Maybe you had a wonderful team of support and maybe you didn't. What advice would you give expecting or new moms? They would love the advice. My words of wisdom are this, when others offer you help, don't be afraid to accept it, you may need them to tend to your little one but they can wash dishes, cook meals or other things around the house you have put on hold.

http://www.womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics/postpartum-psychiatric-disorders/?gclid=COCM9L-qp5cCFQ8Qagod7yF7jg

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546

http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.post-partum.html

Toddler Travel

So tomorrow I leave for my much anticipated trip home for the holidays. However this is the first time I am flying with my daughter since she had been weaned. The previous times I have traveled by plane, I was always comforted in knowing that if anything happened, if she became fussy or needed to be calmed, we had a built in system (she was much younger the last time we flew). Now that she is a toddler and has been weaned for several months, I became anxious wondering if we would make it okay without getting those dreadful stares from other passengers. This made me search the Internet to find helpful tips for my trip. Now if they don't work you know that I will let you know first thing tomorrow when my flight lands.

1. I decided as always to take a flight at 6:00 AM, Madison is usually slip and has slept though the whole process of checking in and security.

2. I shipped all my things ahead. With the price of baggage checking, I was able to ship our stuff ahead and it has already arrived at my sister's for our vacation. I don't have to lug things in the airport and worry about picking up bags when I arrive.

3. Dress for success, this includes my toddler and me. With all the steps that are taken when you go through security ( remove shoes, etc.) we are dressing comfortably and with easy off shoes.

4. Wear her out the night before and in the airport. I have read several tips that say not to let her sit down while we are waiting in the airport. I'll let you know how this goes, in the past I have just let her sleep the entire time.

5. I never travel with out my gogo Kidz travel mate. This is money well spent. It is a gadget that attaches to her car seat and lets me push her through the airport. It turns your car seat into a stroller (see picture above). I got mine at the One Step Ahead site.

6. Snacks and milk are important. I plan on taking Cheeros, granola bars and milk. This site can give you the exact amounts of liquids and formula/milk you can have when you travel with small children:
http://www.flyingrugrats.com/
Did you know that using a bottle during landing and take off can protect their little ears (of course gum for the older children works too).

7. Last but not least, I plan on having plenty of DVD's, books, coloring books and games to keep her entertained when she wakes up.

Overall, my daughter has been a real trooper when traveling, but I feel better being prepared just in case.

Jada's Golden Rules

I love this month's cover story in Cookie Magazine on Jada Pinkett Smith and her family values. She is picture throughout the article with pics of her and her 8 year old daughter Willow. The fashions show off are really cool. While they may be out the price range of the average momma and daughter, they are fitted with some items from J Crew. Her mom style rocks.

She talks about her Golden Rules for parenting which include eating as a family, getting help from others (i.e. grandma and extended family), drinking water for energy, respecting our kids boundaries, choosing your battles and exposing and educating your children to new things. It is a pretty cool article. She is also featured with her husband in this months Essences magazine where she talks about marriage. I love how she is constantly changing but stays true to herself.

Guilt-Free Motherhood

I am not sure when it happened, but at some point being a playmate was added to the mommy-to-do list. Some days between cooking, cleaning and/or working outside the home, we don't feel like another Dora Song or episode of Hanna Montana. All moms have those times when they just don't feel like playing with their children. When we do take the time to get in the floor and play, our minds on all the other things we have to get done.

First we have to learn to give ourselves a break. No one expects us, including our children, to be their only form of entertainment 24/7. They need down time just like we do. When we do take time to play with our children, focus only playing. Giving that time our undivided attention, that way when we are ready to move on to something else we don't feel guilty. Who knows we may even have fun!!!!

Think Pink

Mommas as we begin the month of October, I just wanted to send out a reminder that it is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Early detection can save your life. So I have made a list of links that talk about self-exams and what steps we can take to say health. This is something we have to make time for. Don't forget to wear pink, support research by buying pink cancer support products this month too.

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month site

http://nbcam.org/

Self Exams

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/self_exam/bse_steps.jsp

www.komen.org/bse/

women.webmd.com/healthtool-self-breast-exam

Cancer support

Pink Ribbon Store http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

Think Pink http://www.lucy.com/

www.pinkribbonshop.com/

www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15051954/

Procrastination Power

Why is it as mothers when we hear the word procrastination we cringe? We often become embarrassed if we have once again waited to the last minute to wash our child's uniform or we didn't remember to go by the store on the way home. I don't know about you, but I don't remember being handed a superwoman cape when I left the hospital with my child. So why don't we give ourselves the same breaks that we give other people?

Here are three solutions I have come up with and you may have some of your own you'd like to share. First when we are faced with procrastination and feel overwhelmed let's agree to JUST GET IT DONE. So what if it has taken you longer than you originally thought it would. Take control and get it done, you didn't finish the laundry yesterday, give yourself some slack and don't focus on mistakes.

Second, when it comes to other areas we have procrastinated in, we have to learn to GET OVER IT. We aren't going to always get everything right and done on time, but it is not the end of the world. Tomorrow will bring new challenges, responsibilities and hope.

Lastly we need to learn to TURN IT OVER. This simply means turning it over to someone else. Often this means giving it over to God but we also have to give some of the mom-to-do list to our spouses, extended family or even someone who can just give a helping hand. The most important part of this solution is when you release it, don't pick it back up. If you prayed about it don't worry about it. If you gave to someone else to do, don't feel you have to supervise them (I do that all the time). We have to learn to completely turn it over.

Finding time for you...

We often find ourselves throughout our day feeling that we are in themiddle of a tornado. We have been pulled every which direction from our husbands, our work both inside and outside of the home and the day to day demands of answering to "Momma Momma..." When do we find time to stop and take a breath. When do we find time to sleep in late, eat cereal all day and not worry about feeding others or have time to just be. If you work outside of the home, it is hard sometimes to switch hats from career woman to mother. If you are a stay-at-home mom, it's hard to find those breaks in your day where you wind down. Motherhood is a 24-hour/7 day a week job, that doesn't usually have sick days, vacation time or half-days.


However, it has been shown that when we, the mommas, are happy, relaxed and well rested, our children and families are happier. Think about it, those of you with older children, remember the first night that newborn slept through the night. That was the best sleep. Remember how much more focused you were the next day. We as women have to set aside time for ourselves so that we aren't mad at the world. I know this is hard because we by nature are nurturers but we have to start some where to reduce our stress.

Try these out:

Read a good fiction book...one of my girlfriends always says you need fiction in your lives

Take a long bath, with candles, music and bath salts.....make sure the kids are safe even if you have to do it after they are asleep.

Exercise or at least go for a walk, Google stroller stride in your area if you can't find a sitter. There are groups on babyzone.com for your local area that get together to exercise with smaller children. If you have older children join the YMCA or YWCA, they can take a class while you exercise.

Write a letter to a friend....not an email, sit down and physically write a letter

Go get your hair done something about having someone else wash and style you hair is so relaxing, like washing stress down the drain. On a budget, get a mani or pedicure.

Schedule down time or your own time out, if it is locking your office door at work or sitting on your porch, turn off the phones and sit for 10 minutes. If you can't sit with yourself for 10 minutes imagine what other people think about being around you for that long.

What are some ways you find time for yourself?

Hopefully this blog will help reduce the stress too. Our children are blessings from God and we can give them what they need if we don't first take care of ourselves so that we can be our best.